Davinci Code 6 Trait Breakdown (from class)

Paragraphs taken from The Da Vinci Code, by Dan Brown.

Langdon felt a chill. They played Tarot? The medieval Italian card game was so replete with hidden heretical symbolism that Langdon had dedicated an entire chapter in his new manuscript to the Tarot. The game=s twenty-two cards bore names like The Female Pope, The Empress, and The Star. Originally, Tarot had been devised as a secret means to pass along ideologies banned by the church. Now, Tarot=s mystical qualitites were passed on by modern fortune-tellers.


Langdon wondered if any of Harvard=s revered Egyptologists had ever knocked on the front door of a pyramid and expected an answer. He raised his hand to bang on the glass, but out of the darkness below, a figure appeared, striding up the curving staircase. The man was stocky and dark, almost Neanderthal, dressed in a dark double-breasted suit that strained to cover his wide shoulders. He advanced with unmistakable authority on squat, powerful legs. He was speaking on his cell phone but finished the call as he arrived. He motioned for Langdon to enter.


6 Trait Breakdown of the two paragraphs:

Ideas:
• Main idea: Tarot cards  well presented
• The author introduced the topic and went on to give supporting details and additional information about the game (example: game has 22 cards, different names of the game -- The Female Pope, The Empress, The Star – the “real” use of the game (pass along ideologies banned from the church)
• Author talks about the symbolism of Tarot cards
• Details seem accurate and help give the reader more information about the card game (and the protagonist’s opinion of the game). After researching the author, I found out that because of the research-intensive nature of his novels, Brown can spend up to two years writing them. This tells me that he is a perfectionist and wants to get all his facts right.
• That being said, this paragraph shows that the author has prior knowledge about the game of Tarot (whether through research or prior experience).
Organization:
• Both paragraphs are well structured (with a main idea and supporting details/sentences).
• The opening sentence in the first paragraph immediately identifies the purpose and gives the reader a sense of direction “Langdon felt a chill. They played Tarot?”  We realize that the paragraph will most likely go on to give us more details about the card game and that there is potentially something mysterious or eerie about the game.
• The author discusses the game in the first paragraph and brings closure to the paragraph by saying Tarot’s mystical qualities have been passed on to modern day fortune-tellers.


Voice:
• Dan Brown’s voice comes through in this piece of writing – his knowledge of the game of Tarot shows his interest in the game.
• After researching the author, I found that his favorite subjects include codes, puzzles, treasure hunts, secretive organizations and academic lectures on obscure topics, he tends to incorporate those into his novels. This is evident in his writing as his love for symbolism and puzzles shines through.
• The second paragraph paints a vivid image for the reader and shows much personality.
• Brown’s description of the man in paragraph two uses strong imagery (stocky, dark, squat, powerful, Neanderthal) that bring the scene to life.
• In the first paragraph it is obvious that Brown knows his topic which creates a confident voice.


Word Choice:
• Brown’s second paragraph is extremely descriptive and paints a vivid picture for readers. Phrases such as: curving staircase, stocky and dark almost Neanderthal, dark double-breasted, and powerful, squat legs, all help the reader visualize what the man looks like.
• The word choice in the first paragraph might be a bit too heavy for a younger audience (ex: high school students) Words such as: heretical and replete might interrupt the flow for a younger reader and make the writing seem disjointed.

Sentence Fluency:
• The first paragraph has varied sentence length. The first two sentences are shorter, leading into several longer, more complex sentences.
• An advanced reader would find that there is a good rhythm and cadence to the writing; however, as mentioned above, difficult words might hinder sentence fluency for a more novice reader.
• The author’s sentence fluency is not as strong in the second paragraph. He starts most sentences with “He” and goes on to explain the actions of the man. Varied sentence structure might have enhanced the fluency for the reader.
• The author uses transitional words in the first paragraph, such as “originally” and “ Now” to help bridge sentences improve the flow from one sentence to the next.


Conventions:
• Because this is a professionally edited piece of work, this piece is polished and there are no evident spelling or grammatical errors.
• The text is for the most part easy to understand and process, although as mentioned above, the use of some difficult words might hinder the readability.